As long as our consciousness is materialistic, there is no room for joy. However on the spiritual platform three things automatically happen: eternity, knowledge and bliss.
If we want something then also we have to abide by the desire of the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Then he will fulfill your desires. That is the way to do things.
It is very important that we develop proper relationship with each other, that is an important aspect of Vaisnava Etiquette.
Greatest spiritual quality is inspite of being great; one considers himself as the lowest.